


Kiss My Ass

by keylimepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Confessions, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Frottage, M/M, Misunderstandings, Post-Episode: s14e18 Absence, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rimming, The Map Table
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 15:26:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keylimepie/pseuds/keylimepie
Summary: Cas is upset about how Dean has been treating him, and Sam has some advice. Cas takes Sam's advice very seriously, leading to some very unexpected results.





	Kiss My Ass

**Author's Note:**

> I started this coda after episode 18 as a way to cope with my distress, but I was just able to finish it now. Obviously this is how season 14 should have ended.
> 
> Anyway, if you also find cracky smut as a great coping mechanism, dig in.

Castiel sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee nestled in his hands. Across from him sat Sam, pouring almond milk on a bowl of granola. Sam was looking at him with concern. It felt a little nice, having Sam worry about him. Truth be told, it might be the only thing keeping him going at this point. 

“Do you have an estimate on when you think Dean will be ready to talk to me again?” Cas asked cautiously. After Mary’s funeral, after returning to the bunker, Sam had told him to wait. It had been days, and Cas was very worried that the answer might be never. 

Sam set the milk down and looked at Cas and heaved a troubled sigh. An angry look crossed his features. “Cas, you act like you’re the one who did something wrong here… the way you’re just willing to take whatever he dishes out is- it’s not right. I love Dean, he’s my brother and I love him, and god knows I’ve put up with his crap too, but- you’ve got to tell him when he’s being a dick.” Sam scrubbed his hand over his face. “I love you too, Cas. You’re my brother, too. And you don’t deserve this. I mean, if someone that I- if someone treated me like that, I wouldn’t sit around like a kicked dog waiting for a little scrap of kindness again.” 

“What should I do, then? When Dean is ready to talk to me and takes it upon himself to approach me, should I tell him then that I don’t appreciate his treatment of me?” 

Sam snorted. “You should tell him to kiss your ass.” 

Cas squinted. “You think that will help mend things between us?” 

“Well, he won’t be expecting it, maybe it’ll shock him into thinking. Yeah, you know what? If I had someone say those things to me, and then they wanted to sulk, and then try talking to me again like nothing was even wrong, I’d tell them in no uncertain terms to eat me.” 

Castiel gazed off in the distance, pondering this advice as Sam crunched his granola. “Thank you, Sam,” Cas said finally, with a hint of a smile on his face. “Now that I think about it, that does seem to be one of the languages Dean speaks well, and perhaps one of the best ways to bring us close together again. Certainly I’ve considered it many times, but I don’t think I’d have had the courage to approach him this way without your advice. But if you think that he will receive that request well, I shall do just that.” 

Sam paused with a mouthful of cereal, then resumed crunching. “Well... good,” he said after swallowing. 

It was nearly two days later when Dean finally spoke to Cas. As predicted, he tried to carry on a normal conversation as if nothing had been wrong between them. No apology, no talking about the fight, just right into normalcy. 

“Hey Cas, I’m getting antsy here waiting for news on.. Uh, well… anyway, I think I’m going to go shoot some pool, have a few beers. You wanna come shoot pool with me?” 

“No, I don’t think we should do that,” Cas said. He folded his arms across his chest. “Since you are willing to talk to me again, I have a suggestion for another activity for the two of us to engage in.” 

“Um. Well okay, spit it out, man.” 

“Analingus.” 

Dean’s face froze. “I- I’m sorry?” he managed to stutter out. 

“You and I should engage in analingus. Specifically, you performing on me. Although, once we have achieved that and mended our friendship, I would certainly like to reciprocate. And of course, other sexual acts are on the table as well, it just seems that that is the place to start.” 

There wasn’t a lot that could shock Dean Winchester, but this was certainly it. His head was spinning as he mentally sorted through the possibility that this was a spell, or a djinn dream, or some other supernatural happening, because there was no way this conversation was real. He dropped into a nearby chair. “Cas- I’m very confused, buddy, you-” 

“It’s the act of orally stimulating another person’s-” 

“Jesus, Cas, I know what it means! I just… did not... know that you wanted… damn.” Dean blushed and stared at the floor. “Is this something that you… Cas, this is not how you lead into conversations about..” Dean jumped up again from the chair and paced across the floor, and turned to look at Cas from a distance. 

“I’m sorry; Sam did say to be direct and use no uncertain terms.” 

“Wait, _Sam_? You talked to Sam about this?!” Dean’s eyes widened. 

“Yes, he advised me to ask you… I mean, it was his idea, though I have certainly thought about it on numerous occasions.” Castiel’s gaze drifted down Dean’s body and back up to his eyes, unmistakably filled with lusty intent. 

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to start with _that_. I mean, I’m not really a ‘wine me and dine me first’ kinda guy but… Cas, we’ve never even kissed.” 

“Oh, of course, I forgot about that! You should kiss it first. Sam did say to lead with that. I wasn’t clear but I think he meant the buttocks. Would that interest you, Dean?” 

“No! Yes. Okay, yes it does. But first I- I want to kiss your face.” Gathering all his courage, Dean stepped up toe to toe with Cas and threaded one hand into his hair, leaning close. Their noses brushed, and Dean closed his eyes. 

“I’m afraid not,” Castiel said, pulling back and placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “You see, the way things have been between us lately… I cannot allow you to continue to behave this way towards me. So before we have any other sort of interactions, in order to mend our friendship-” 

“Whoa,” Dean exclaimed, the gears clicking in his mind. “You said- Sam said- Cas, what _exactly_ did Sam tell you to say?” 

Cas shifted uncomfortably. “He said that, should you try to speak to me without apologizing or acknowledging the fight between us, I should tell you to kiss my ass. And that, in my place, he would tell you ‘eat me.’ Well, not you specifically. A hypothetical person.” Cas shrugged. “I know that you enjoy sexual acts and it made sense to me, that perhaps the lack of that has kept us from properly communicating. This theory fits in with many popular self-help books and programs, and-” 

Dean licked his lips nervously. “Cas, are you interested in me like that? Um. Sexually? This isn’t just about crazy advice you’ve gotten?” Dean reached his hand up and placed it over Cas’s where it rested on his shoulder, sliding their fingers together. “Have you been feeling… uh… feelings?” 

Castiel stared at Dean incredulously. “Dean, I have been in love with you since I first touched your soul. I have given everything, I have killed and died for you. I’ve given up my home, my family, an army, power, everything; everything I’ve ever had I have given for you. And yes, I have had countless sexual fantasies about you. The question is, how do you feel about me?” 

Dean cupped his hand around Cas’s cheek. “Cas, you’re… so important to me. I have no right to- you’re right, Sam’s right, I have treated you like shit. We all fucked up equally, and-” 

“As much as I would like an apology and to talk about this, I feel like you’re avoiding this question. Please. Dean.” 

“I’m trying to say that I do want you Cas, I do. I have feelings for you, man, like no one else has ever made me feel. But I don’t deserve you; I think this whole thing just proves that.” 

“We can work on that,” Cas said gently. He slid his arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him closer, sending a dizzying surge of lust through Dean as their bodies connected. “I believe I’ll veer off from Sam’s advice and kiss your mouth after all. It feels like we should.” 

Dean’s heart thudded in his chest as Cas leaned close and brought their lips together. Tentative at first, just that gentle brush was enough to draw a desperate moan from Dean. He tilted his head and their mouths worked against each other, and Dean threaded his hands into that gorgeous, tousled hair, just as he’d imagined so many times. Cas’s chapped lips felt so good against his. He licked his way into Cas’s mouth, and it was Cas’s turn to make needy, desperate little noises as Dean’s tongue found his. His mouth tasted of coffee and honey. Dean felt himself harden as he thought about tasting Cas everywhere. 

Dean slid his hand down Cas’s neck and fumbled one-handed at his tie. He managed to loosen it a bit, and Cas began sliding Dean’s flannel off his shoulders. They broke off the kiss with a gasp and began pulling at each other’s clothes in earnest. 

“We should take this to my bedroom,” Dean said. He slid Cas’s trench coat and suit jacket off his shoulders and let them puddle on the floor at his feet, and started on his shirt buttons. 

“Sam won’t be back until tomorrow,” Cas said, pulling Dean’s t-shirt over his head. “Do you really want to stop to move?” 

“No,” Dean said. He finished unbuttoning Cas’s shirt and kissed his way down Cas’s chest and stomach, and then dropped to his knees in front of him. “This okay?” His hand hovered over Cas’s zipper. “Can I take these off of you?” 

“Yes,” Cas hissed. Dean’s fingers nimbly unfastened his pants and slid them off his hips, his fingers caressing the bare skin underneath. “ _Oh_ ,” Cas gasped as Dean’s fingers skimmed back up his thighs and moved to close loosely around his erection. 

“That feel good?” Dean asked. He slid his hand gently up and down. Cas made a desperate keening noise in response. 

“Cas... let me give you what you asked for, baby. Hop up on the table, hands and knees.” Dean stood up and eyed Cas’s body up and down. He looked good; muscled and tan and delicious. “If you want this.” 

Castiel glanced at the map table, then back at Dean. He pulled his shirt off and laid it carefully on a nearby chair and stepped out of his pants. Completely naked, he climbed onto the table exactly as Dean had asked. The surface of the table was cool and hard beneath his knees and where the palms of his hands dug in. His skin felt feverish in comparison. He glanced back over his shoulder and locked eyes with Dean. 

Dean stepped closer and cupped his hand around one perfectly rounded cheek and licked his lips in anticipation. He bent down and kissed it, just at the fleshiest bit. He kissed a line up to the small of his back, then down the other cheek. Dean’s fingers traced over the globes. Cas’s ass was a work of art. Dean caressed and squeezed, savoring the exploration. At last, he pressed both palms and spread, and eyed up his target. Cas’s hole, tight and puckered and his for the taking. “Gorgeous, baby,” he whispered. “You’re gorgeous.” 

Dean ghosted a breath across it, then touched his tongue there tentatively. Castiel made a high-pitched whimper. Dean flicked his tongue again, harder this time, and Cas moaned. The sound went straight to Dean’s cock. Dean’s fingers tightened where he held Cas’s cheeks on either side, and he lapped at Cas’s asshole with delicate, rhythmic licks, trying to find just the right thing that would drive the angel wild. Pleasuring Cas like this was really something he could get behind. Literally. He almost chuckled at his mental pun, but with a swirl of his tongue Cas made a new noise and he redoubled his efforts with that move. 

Castiel shifted to rest his forearms against the table and press his forehead against his hands. Every swipe of Dean’s tongue brought another sound from him. Dean became painfully aware of the fact that he was still wearing his jeans as his erection strained against them. Still, he pressed on and inserted the tip of his tongue into Cas’s ass. It was so very tight, he could barely get in there at all. Gradually, as her worked at it, the rim stretched a little to accept him, and he was able to tongue him inside. Cas was making nonstop noises, grunts and moans and whimpers better than any porn soundtrack he’d ever heard. It felt so good to be doing this to him, but the pressure in his jeans was painful at this point. 

“Hold that thought, sweetheart,” Dean said, pausing to peel himself out of his jeans. He groaned with relief as he shed them and his underwear along with them. Cas shifted on the table onto his back, and watched him undress. 

“Dean, let me touch you now. Let me pleasure you,” Cas said. He beckoned Dean toward him, and Dean obliged, crawling over him on the table and leaning in for a kiss. As Dean pressed down against him and their cocks slid together, Dean gasped. Precum dribbled from each where they were trapped together between their bodies, and it was hot and slippery and felt better than Dean would have imagined. He could feel the pulsing and twitching of Cas’s dick against his. 

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Dean whispered against Cas’s lips. He trailed kisses down his jaw and throat as he gently thrust against him. “Oh, Cas. Cas! Fuck, baby, I am so frigging close.” It was way too soon, but this was more than just the building up of sexual energy from the past few minutes’ activities; it was years of longing. Dean could feel all of that building to a crescendo as they moved their bodies together, all the thoughts that he’d barely let himself acknowledge. And now that he knew that it was much the same for Cas, that he’d been loved and desired all these years, it only made it stronger. 

“I think I am too,” Cas said. He thrust back against Dean. “ _Dean,_ ” he grunted, and his fingernails dug into the flesh of Dean’s shoulders. Dean kissed the side of his jaw, then his earlobe, grasping it gently between his teeth. Cas was surprised at how good that felt, how much it fueled the fire in his groin. They continued to rock against each other, chasing the slide and the friction against each other’s bodies. Cas slid his hands down Dean’s back, down to cup the lovely round curves of his ass, and pull him in. Suddenly the mood had shifted and they both were frantic now. Another few thrusts and Cas’s muscles tensed up, and he felt the hot gush of cum between their bodies as the waves of orgasm washed over him. _”Oh-oh-Dean-oh!”_

“I’ve got you, baby,” Dean whispered. “Cas, my love, yes, cum for me. I’m- me too, I- _Castiel_ ” Dean shuddered as the orgasm ripped through his body. He rocked against Cas until the last spasm of it was over, and then he collapsed heavily onto Cas’s chest. 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair and sighed. “That was beautiful, Dean.” 

“Was pretty good for me, too, Cas.” He propped himself up on shaky arms so he could look at Cas’s face. “Hope this is gonna be a new habit. Not gonna lie, I could really get used to this.” 

“I would be interested in mutual exploration of our sexuality, yes,” Cas said. “I believe that if we combine this with the emotional intimacy of open communication, that would truly be optimal.” 

“Cas, I’m here for that. Uh, a relationship.” Dean rolled to the side and propped up on one elbow, and traced the line of Castiel’s jaw with his fingertip. “You know, I think you could be the one that… yeah, I mean I know that I have a lot to improve-” 

“As do I,” Cas said ruefully. 

“But this is worth it. We just gotta try our best. Cas I- I love you,” Dean said. “And I’m so, so sorry that I ever treated you like-” he waved his hand helplessly. “I’m just sorry about…” 

“I forgive you Dean.” Castiel said. He gazed at Dean, and leaned over to kiss him, when Dean’s phone began to ring somewhere in the distance. Dean sighed and scooted off the table to go fetch it. There was too much going on to ignore the phone, no matter how badly he wanted to lie around naked with Cas and kiss him over and over. 

“Sammy, what’s up?” Dean said, bringing the phone to his ear. “Yeah okay, did you check… you know, nevermind, I… yeah, of course I’ll come and get you. Hang tight.” He hung up the phone and turned to Cas, who was now sitting on the edge of the table, his feet dangling down. His hands were braced on his thighs, the flex of his arms showing off the breathtaking shape of his shoulders, his pecs, his upper arms. Dean swallowed hard. 

“What’s wrong with Sam?” Cas asked. 

“Oh! Nothing, he, uh, he broke down on the side of the road and he has no clue how to fix anything, so I gotta go… rescue him.” Dean licked his lips and stepped closer to Cas. “You.. you are gorgeous. You look so good, Cas.” He looked hungrily up and down Cas’s body. He hadn’t taken the time to appreciate it earlier, and now he wanted to make up for that. “Want to do so many things with you, baby.” 

Cas smiled. “You’ll have to tell me more about that later. Right now, I think we should probably get dressed and go help Sam.” He slid off the table and started gathering his clothes, pausing for a moment to touch his fingertips to Dean’s forehead and clean the stickiness and the sweat from his body. “Besides,” Cas continued as he pulled his pants on. “I can’t wait to tell him how well his relationship advice worked. Who would have guessed that the best way to open the lines of communication is to insert your tongues into each other?” 

Dean blinked and shook his head. “Sweetheart, I think you may have completely misunderstood what Sam said to you. I don’t think this was at all what he intended.” 

“Oh?” said Cas thoughtfully. The tiniest hint of a smile played at the corners of his lips. 

“But I’m very glad that you did,” Dean added. He finished tying his boot and straightened up. “C’mon angel, let’s go for a drive.” 


End file.
